"Boys my age only want one thing, and that's not sex. It's gratification. They want a girl to fuck them silly and then take care of them like the mothers they still bring their laundry home to. They want porn stars who can cook and who pack their lunch while wearing a G-string. Any girl who would let a guy like that be her first is stupid. I'm not stupid, Jack."

I used to be one of those guys, I nearly reminded her, but was still working my way through accepting her world-weary cynicism. Besides, could I honestly say I wasn't that kind of guy any longer?

"Boys my age and the older ones in my classes, including the professors, want to get into my pants because MTV and Jersey Shore tell them that's what makes them a man. And girls my age let them because MTV and The Hills tell them that's what cool girls do." She laughed a little. "Even Glee is getting there, if you read the articles about it. Two years from now, Rachel will be in some Juicy Couture fuck-me mini just like everybody else." From what she was saying, I thought she watched a bit more TV than she had admitted to me. However, I had a vague recollection of having read something with the same premise in The Times.

I felt her shift position, and then there was a pressure from her small breasts as she rolled to her side and wiggled up against me. She was so close, I could smell the mint toothpaste she had used when getting ready for bed, and fresh heat flooded my body.

Her voice was softer when she spoke again. "I've never been one of those girls. I wouldn't even have anything in common with such a creature. I've had my own life since I was fourteen, when the schools couldn't cope with me. And my parents…"—I stayed quiet to let her finish—"they have pretty much let me go my own way since I started asking them about the meaning of words like weltschmerz and zeitgeist. We sort of have an agreement that I won't get pregnant, and they won't visit."

She touched my hair, and once again, that oddly intimate, much older gesture seemed natural for her. "So here we are."

I had to agree. "Yes, here we are. I don't want to hurt you or freak you out, but you are a virgin, and you are a lot younger, and all this just seems sort of strange."

She chuckled once more; the rich tones warmed my skin even further. "Oh, Jack. Weird for me or weird for you? Like I told you, just because I haven't gone all the way doesn't mean I haven't done other things. Not as much as other girls, but enough. You don't have to worry about shocking me. I'm a virgin, not an innocent." She paused, and her next words were right in my ear, whispered low as if sharing a secret. "But some things I've been saving for the right guy, the right time. And this is what I want…"