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Wed, 11/02/2011 - 02:02

Hardest

By Jamieson Wolf

Series Hard : Book 5

Heat Rating 3

Released 2011-03-11

Word Count 3524

Keywords true love, regret, redemption, salvation, gay, jamieson wolf, m/m, man love, erotika romance, erotic romance, 99 cents, 99 cent kindle book, 99 cent kindle romance books, 99 cent romance

ISBN 978-1-926930-08-4

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Price :$0.99

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Also Available At : Amazon | All Romance eBooks | Bookstrand | 1 Place for Romance

Owen has tried to live a life without regret. But that’s not possible when his heart still grieves.

Owen has tried to live a life without regret. But that's not possible when his heart still grieves.

Years ago, Owen and Daniel parted. Best friends for years, they each gave into their attraction one summer to find love, only to lose it when the summer ended. Yearning to fill the void he feels in himself, Owen has tried anonymous sex, quick flings and dating to get his mind off his first love. But all to no avail.

Even all these years later, even after all the hurt, Owen still carries a torch for Daniel. The only problem is, Owen can't find him. So when Daniel tracks Owen down and finds him in a bathhouse, everything Owen thought he knew is about to change forever.

Owen carried an ache inside of himself.

He had felt it growing as of late, festering away inside him. He had tried to ignore it, tried to distract it with other things. He had tried anonymous sex, partying, exercising; he had tried anything and everything he could think of.

And still the ache did not go away.

Owen supposed it was his own fault, really. He had given away too much, had let too much of his heart go, to the first person who came along.

Really, the only person. The only one for him.

The only one he had ever loved.

Sebastian had been around for a while. He had liked Sebastian a lot. But in the end, he couldn't give Sebastian any part of his heart; he had already given it away. They had parted on good terms, but Sebastian had said something to him that had stuck: "You're always comparing me to him."

Owen had looked at Sebastian with wide eyes. "What do you mean?"
"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Sebastian had grinned and come closer to him. He'd put a hand on Owen's chest, overtop of where Owen's heart beat a quick tattoo. "Your heart still beats for Daniel. No one else can compete with that. Find him. If you do, maybe you'll have happiness in some way."

The only trouble was that Owen couldn't find him. He had tried. He had tried to see if his parents were still in contact with their old neighbors, had tried to track Daniel down through old high-school records. He'd even attempted to find him using one of those Classmates Web sites online.

And all for nothing. It was as if Daniel had vanished off the face of the earth.

Even the thought of him now gave Owen an ache that throbbed inside of him, a sharp resonance that reverberated through his bones and his blood. He wondered, idly, if Daniel could feel it. If somehow his pain, his need for Daniel, called to him.

Owen wondered if he would run into Daniel in the street, if he would get a phone call one quiet evening and hear Daniel's voice on the other end of the phone. But nothing ever happened.
So he pushed the torment away the only way he knew how: with anonymous sex.

For just a few moments, while the stranger let his hands roam over Owen's body, Owen could forget. For that one instant, he could forget about Daniel, about the love he felt for him, about the ache that filled him like blood. For the few seconds before sexual gratification, the few moments before he came, Owen could forget.

But afterwords, his heart would still beat harder for Daniel.

His heart beat its hardest, strongest tattoo when he thought of Daniel. It had always been this way. Owen wondered if it would continue to always be this way; he wondered if he would ever heal.

He doubted it.

God, I need a drink, he thought.